Let me first declare that this post was inspired by a Facebook post by a friend. She narrated that she heard a pastor telling the married women in his congregation not to be friends with single women...the reason for his advice is that he believes they will be misled by their unmarried/single friends.
Well I am not ready to join issue with this pastor, but I will like to use this opportunity to join issue with Nigerian society as a whole. Personally, I have always believed that Nigerians have a very misguided, perverted and warped idea of a relationship or marriage.
I said so because I am talking from experience. An average Nigerian believes that once a man or woman is working, the next thing is for him or her to get married. Everywhere you go, you are bombarded with the questions of "when are you getting married?", "do you know time is going?", "what are you waiting for?", etc. In fact, the pressure is so much that if you are not a strong person, you will start thinking that you have a problem.
Now let everyone listen to me, if you are married, congratulations and I wish you well. But it is an invasion of privacy to be asking people when they are getting married. And it is wrong of you to disrespect people because they are not married. Some people even think single or unmarried people are irresponsible or lose. If you are a man, some people will also insinuate that may be you are impotent. #smile. I have seen situations where some married people believe you should accord them special respect because they are married and you are not.
Let me continue by saying that I am not married and I don't need anybody's advice on why I am not yet married. I personally will not tolerate disrespect from anyone because I am not married. Neither will I accord anyone special respect because he or she is married. I will only respect you if you deserve my respect, whether you are married or single is immaterial to me.
Finally, let it be clear that single or unmarried status is not a disease that needs to be cured. And to all the single and unmarried people out there, your destiny is in your own hands. Whether you allow the society to make you feel inadequate or not, depends on you. Always remember that there is nothing wrong with you. Also, know that everybody cannot get married at the same time. In fact, I don't have problem with anyone who doesn't want to get married at all.
Thank you and share your thoughts.
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