A kiss can mean so many things; our field guide decodes the
most important lip locks.
There are many different ways to kiss your lover,
and all of them can communicate something different about
what or how you’re feeling, whether’s it’s during s*x or during a date.
Here’s a field guide to the major types of kisses, and what
you’re saying with each of them.
1. Peck. Sounds innocent, doesn’t it? But this quick
lip-on-lip contact still sends a message. The primary one? “I want to kiss you
and — hopefully, sometime soon — make out, but it’s early and we’re not there
yet, so this peck on the lips is a suggestion that there is to be much more
smooching in our future.”
2. A long peck. A lingering, closed-mouth kiss on the lips.
Very sensual, yet still somewhat chaste and restrained. This is how grown-ups
say, “We are so about to make out big-time.” This extended peck is usually
followed by a knowing smirk and, sometimes, an audible “mmmm.”
3. Woodpecker. Rapid-fire pecks. Playful and cute, these
say, “I really like you, a lot, but I don’t want to get myself all randy right
now.” These convey a lot of affection without allowing things to get too hot
and heavy. It’s also a good option when it comes to PDA. No one wants to watch
you swallow each other’s faces while they’re having their morning coffee.
4. French. The French Kiss is the king of kisses, and
involves open mouths and some form of tongue interaction. It’s too complex and
nuanced for one description, so we’ve broken it down even further:
a) Standard. Moving your open lips against each other with
some tongue interplay can be very sweet, very hot, very passionate, or all of
the above. This kiss really gets the hormones racing and says, “I would like to
sleep with you.”
b) Tongue Tango. Ideally an elegant ballet of tongue play,
the Tongue Tango occurs when the tips of the tongues push off of each other and
twist around. This kiss says “I think outside the box in and out of bed” This
kiss, however, is a close relative of the dreaded Lizard Kiss, where tongues
dart in a stabbing, lizard-like motion. What’s the lizard’s saying? “I am a
creep.” So be careful.
c) He’s Eating My Mouth. This kiss leaves the kissee with
what we call a saliva beard. Basically, the kisser opens his or her mouth as
wide as possible, rolls their tongue all around and down their partner’s throat
and then, inexplicably, slides it all over their poor partner’s face. Pop
Culture Reference Point: An episode of s*x And The City, wherein Charlotte was
forced to deal with a date literally licking her face. This kiss says, Copied from 9jatea.com “I want
you to think I’m really s*xual and passionate but in reality, I am totally
oblivious to your vibe and will probably stink in bed. Big time.”
5. Love Bite. Getting in a little nip of the lip or neck
means “I’m playful,” and might also reveal that you’re not totally opposed to a
little bit of pain with your pleasure. Try not to draw blood, though.
6. I Love You/I Hate You. This one involves a sudden, passionate
embrace after bickering. This kiss is unchoreographed mayhem at its best. It
says, “You make me so mad and I can’t stand you but I must have you and that
makes me even more mad which makes me want you even more, DAMN YOU!!!” Pop
Culture Reference Point: Check out Han Solo and Princess Leia’s first kiss in
The Empire Strikes Back for a textbook example of the adversary-lover dance.
7. Hard-mouth-closed. This one is featured in many classic
films. It occurs when the leading man finally pins down his female nemesis/love
interest and plants one on her. It’s often accompanied by a wrist grab, so that
you don’t push him away, you firebrand! It says, “I’m going to teach you not to
sass me and give me guff, by gum!”
8. Against The Wall. “I want you so bad.” Although this kiss
usually happens spontaneously and in a semi-public setting (e.g. alleyway, bar
bathroom, book reading, etc.), you always wish there was a bed nearby that you
could collapse into, because — damn it! — this is hot!
9. The Bend Back. Old-fashioned and romantic, he leans in to
you and bends you backward, often with one hand holding the small of your back,
and the other placed gently against the side of your face. Swoony. This is
generally for people who are uber-comfortable with each other, have a sense of
humor and are absolutely crazy about each other. This kiss says, “Darling, I am
yours. Hold onto your petticoats as my white steed approaches to whisk us away
to fairy-land.” Yeah, it’s a fun one
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